Thursday, October 9, 2008
Safety
"don't read my next message," she said. How can i not? Where else would you feel safe? I swear to you, if it's not you into that cave, it's nobody else.
Lost & Found
I have been lost and again you found me. Partially anyways. But who else would? Thank you :)
Convergence-2???
"The Treasury Department is 'actively' looking at buying equity stakes in some of the nation's banks, according to White House spokesperson Dana Perino. At a White House briefing today, Perino confirmed reports that the United States could soon join the United Kingdom, Iceland and Italy in announcing a plan to inject capital directly into their troubled banking systems."
- CNN
Here we go :)
- CNN
Here we go :)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
V
I visit a lot. It’s not only that it’s on my way back home, actually it’s a small detour, but it’s that I kind of … love it. Last time it had been over a month since I last visited. I was so happy to find it’s really taking shape.
I went so close; not only from outside, but from inside trying to figure out where this very specific unit was. Oh the surrounding is becoming crowded by the lots of cars going back and forth and parking on both sides of the road. I remember when that side of the road paid homage to only two cars; sometimes even one.
Sad! But hey, I’m really so happy with that little sanctuary rising above the ground by the minute. I’m sure it’s going to be neat and elegant. It already is.
I went so close; not only from outside, but from inside trying to figure out where this very specific unit was. Oh the surrounding is becoming crowded by the lots of cars going back and forth and parking on both sides of the road. I remember when that side of the road paid homage to only two cars; sometimes even one.
Sad! But hey, I’m really so happy with that little sanctuary rising above the ground by the minute. I’m sure it’s going to be neat and elegant. It already is.
Hooold hooold hooold!
Today is historic :)
It is my lifetime record one-day loss. Well, actually it's not a realized loss (yet anyways). I'm holding to my capitalist discipline of not selling in panic. I have done my homework and have capitalized on well-established companies with great potential.
So i'm holding dearly to Buffet's wisdom. The one thing i have not done yet is keep some free cash for moments like this. It's a sale for sure, but all my money is tied up in assets already.
Today i met a friend of mine whom i trust on these financial issues. He thinks there is no floor under the market. No rock bottom. Well, i have no means of verifying or challenging him. Oh after listening to Bernanke yesterday and watching world screens turning red, it's not difficult to bare such a bleek view and sound like an expert.
But what i know is at these times, those who claim they know how things will unfold are most probably bluffing. What am i going to do? Hold to my conventional wisdom and test it (and myself) to the end ... and do it with a smile :)
It's a tough exam, though!
It is my lifetime record one-day loss. Well, actually it's not a realized loss (yet anyways). I'm holding to my capitalist discipline of not selling in panic. I have done my homework and have capitalized on well-established companies with great potential.
So i'm holding dearly to Buffet's wisdom. The one thing i have not done yet is keep some free cash for moments like this. It's a sale for sure, but all my money is tied up in assets already.
Today i met a friend of mine whom i trust on these financial issues. He thinks there is no floor under the market. No rock bottom. Well, i have no means of verifying or challenging him. Oh after listening to Bernanke yesterday and watching world screens turning red, it's not difficult to bare such a bleek view and sound like an expert.
But what i know is at these times, those who claim they know how things will unfold are most probably bluffing. What am i going to do? Hold to my conventional wisdom and test it (and myself) to the end ... and do it with a smile :)
It's a tough exam, though!
Monday, October 6, 2008
From within Cave
I take comfort in reading you, actually in just being there. Reading you as i have said and as you sure know does not actually give me comfort.
I sometimes get angry at you (at myself at times), feel betrayed, get so damn jelous; sometimes question whether a comment is really from an anonymous (or from a most familiar anonymous)
i sometimes read through the numbers, the codes, and the formulas and try to decipher them. I go through the acronyms and single letters and trace them back and forth to try to figure out who they were. Sometimes i'm certain. Other times i just don't know.
I try to see myself in your writings, but i don't quite find me. In times of severe doubt, i almost doubt i ever made it into your life with others apearing so much and impacting you as much. I sometimes think what have i ever left her with? Others talked, played, dined, surfed, travelled, and shared great memories with you.
SO many letters of the alphabet. Letters that apear more than others; letters that are liked and praised more than others. Have these letters ever been loved? i visualize that passionate hug, those kisses, this flirting; i read about body curve sizes being discussed and commented on. I remember i vomitted that day! And i shed a different type of tear.
even those few pieces i have related to and know are mine have been deleted or postponed or whatever. I sometimes feel like a visitor by the door who never made it inside. i wish i had probed more, known more. i wish i had shared my hurts as you have shared yours. i wish i was not that kind of person who is hurt silently even from the closest person.
And finally there is this theme of choice and so and so and so many hidden and unhidden messages in so many writings. I say how can she ever play with me like that knowing what this would do to me (if she actually knows), but then i say what if she was not playing? I get crazy. This blog that jumped a decade back then forth, and i knew from the beginning it didn't belong to 98 for sure, but what is that all about (and all that theme)? How come i never asked her?
A thousand how comes ... How come i am an open book to her and she has shared such a thin layer of herself? A lot of times, i'm left with the feeling i have not really known you, and that gives me a feeling i cannot name.
But it does keep me up at night.
I sometimes get angry at you (at myself at times), feel betrayed, get so damn jelous; sometimes question whether a comment is really from an anonymous (or from a most familiar anonymous)
i sometimes read through the numbers, the codes, and the formulas and try to decipher them. I go through the acronyms and single letters and trace them back and forth to try to figure out who they were. Sometimes i'm certain. Other times i just don't know.
I try to see myself in your writings, but i don't quite find me. In times of severe doubt, i almost doubt i ever made it into your life with others apearing so much and impacting you as much. I sometimes think what have i ever left her with? Others talked, played, dined, surfed, travelled, and shared great memories with you.
SO many letters of the alphabet. Letters that apear more than others; letters that are liked and praised more than others. Have these letters ever been loved? i visualize that passionate hug, those kisses, this flirting; i read about body curve sizes being discussed and commented on. I remember i vomitted that day! And i shed a different type of tear.
even those few pieces i have related to and know are mine have been deleted or postponed or whatever. I sometimes feel like a visitor by the door who never made it inside. i wish i had probed more, known more. i wish i had shared my hurts as you have shared yours. i wish i was not that kind of person who is hurt silently even from the closest person.
And finally there is this theme of choice and so and so and so many hidden and unhidden messages in so many writings. I say how can she ever play with me like that knowing what this would do to me (if she actually knows), but then i say what if she was not playing? I get crazy. This blog that jumped a decade back then forth, and i knew from the beginning it didn't belong to 98 for sure, but what is that all about (and all that theme)? How come i never asked her?
A thousand how comes ... How come i am an open book to her and she has shared such a thin layer of herself? A lot of times, i'm left with the feeling i have not really known you, and that gives me a feeling i cannot name.
But it does keep me up at night.
Via you ...
You're the path to my cave. Never have i taken another route. We meet as if we have a date online. We have turned this forum into an instant messaging. Is it a feeling? It sure has some of that. You see thru and know when i'm there, but i'm always there. Water meets water no matter what. May be we're that strong?
Truth
"Truth is neither two-sided nor objective; truth is precisely disinterested subjectivity."
- Knut Hamsun
* I tend to agree with a small note. The above might be an accurate description of how far mankind can reach truth; relative truth in other words.
The world of the absolute is way above that. This is where subjective and objective are not only congruent, but are actually redundant.
- Knut Hamsun
* I tend to agree with a small note. The above might be an accurate description of how far mankind can reach truth; relative truth in other words.
The world of the absolute is way above that. This is where subjective and objective are not only congruent, but are actually redundant.
Open mind
"A mind perpetually open, will be a mind perpetually vacant!"
- Bertrand Russell
* Is that to say our biases, prejudices, and subjectivity are essential ingerdients to ever having a stance? I think so. I once read a quote saying "understanding everything is forgiving everything." I think it does relate to the above quote as well. It is amazing, however, the paradox where a human mind has to have biases and not be understanding nor forgiving of everything in order to be able to create and survive.
Again opens the subject of complete knowledge of GOD who does understand everything, has no biases, no prejudices, but complete engulfing 3elm. Only Him can actually judge and forgive.
- Bertrand Russell
* Is that to say our biases, prejudices, and subjectivity are essential ingerdients to ever having a stance? I think so. I once read a quote saying "understanding everything is forgiving everything." I think it does relate to the above quote as well. It is amazing, however, the paradox where a human mind has to have biases and not be understanding nor forgiving of everything in order to be able to create and survive.
Again opens the subject of complete knowledge of GOD who does understand everything, has no biases, no prejudices, but complete engulfing 3elm. Only Him can actually judge and forgive.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
143*(5)1
i see myself in this formula. I'm who i am to you and you are who you are to me. You are scared and you're not alone. I don;t know what is this relationship doing to us. Is it making us happy or sad, safe or vulnerable; is it providing us a safe shore or throwing us in a high sea.
I am as scared as you are and you don;t miss a chance to make me more scared and at many times scratching my J-spot (oh yea i have one too). I am angry at you at times, perplexed at times, confused at times, an dso many positive and negative feelings at times. However, i am now sure i fall back to one feeling that i have all the time. And that feeling is what you know.
I'm keeping my distance with difficulty, and I too am closer to you than you think. Seriously!
I am as scared as you are and you don;t miss a chance to make me more scared and at many times scratching my J-spot (oh yea i have one too). I am angry at you at times, perplexed at times, confused at times, an dso many positive and negative feelings at times. However, i am now sure i fall back to one feeling that i have all the time. And that feeling is what you know.
I'm keeping my distance with difficulty, and I too am closer to you than you think. Seriously!
Red Wine
It's a special aged red wine that has captured my imagination years ago. Although American by mere force of early globalization, it is hardly ever associated with anything American. Its roots and identity are deeply entrenched into European soil.
Been looking for it for so long, but haven't found it yet. Tried the vineyard it calls home, searched all over the city of the sun, navigated that memluk island where it used to take refuge, and even traversed across the nile valley till i hit the green logo of rationale. Couldn't find it.
Been looking for it for so long, but haven't found it yet. Tried the vineyard it calls home, searched all over the city of the sun, navigated that memluk island where it used to take refuge, and even traversed across the nile valley till i hit the green logo of rationale. Couldn't find it.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Your Name
Stomach tingles, Heart beats race, and that feverish breeze sweeps through me. That’s what happens whenever my eyes meet her name on my mobile.
But I don’t reply ...
May be because I have so much to say. May be because I have nothing to say. Or may be both. May be because she knows it all. May be because she knows nothing of it. Or may be both.
May be because I don’t want to have the wrong tone to what she feels at the moment. Afraid to be too practical to ask about her health, too trivial to ask about her family, too down-to-earth to ask where she is, too daring to tell her how much I miss her, or too dull to just say my typical “Rabena yekhaleeky.”
May be because I want to extend this blissful feeling I have after I receive a note from her; too reluctant to replace it by that stomach burn in anticipation to her reply.
It is my companion, my peace and joy. My heart leaps up whenever I see or hear it. Takes me to that sweet smile and these precious tears. Gives me the whole mix of familiar inexplicable feelings that comforts and agonizes me; that keeps me up at night in defiance to nature and need.
But I don’t reply ...
May be because I have so much to say. May be because I have nothing to say. Or may be both. May be because she knows it all. May be because she knows nothing of it. Or may be both.
May be because I don’t want to have the wrong tone to what she feels at the moment. Afraid to be too practical to ask about her health, too trivial to ask about her family, too down-to-earth to ask where she is, too daring to tell her how much I miss her, or too dull to just say my typical “Rabena yekhaleeky.”
May be because I want to extend this blissful feeling I have after I receive a note from her; too reluctant to replace it by that stomach burn in anticipation to her reply.
It is my companion, my peace and joy. My heart leaps up whenever I see or hear it. Takes me to that sweet smile and these precious tears. Gives me the whole mix of familiar inexplicable feelings that comforts and agonizes me; that keeps me up at night in defiance to nature and need.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Convergence?
So the senate has eventually passed Bush’s rescue plan; whereby $700B of American tax payers’ money will be used by the federal government to “bailout” financial institutions. The US federal government will use this money to acquire bad assets; mostly mortgage-backed securities (MBS) that have plundered in value and sucked these financial institutions dry of cash to lend. A balance sheet nose job :)
“Advocates say the plan is crucial to government efforts to attack a credit crisis that threatens the economy and would free up banks to lend more. Opponents say it rewards bad decisions by Wall Street, puts taxpayers at risk and fails to address the real economic problems facing Americans.”
I’m not interested to take sides here, but the last time anything similar was done, it was called “nationalization.” Oh yea! It might not be as dramatic as government buying stake in the failed institutions, but it’s not loaning them either. Because the government is buying the most “toxic” portion of assets, antennas will be high and controls will definitely be firm.
So are we witnessing that historic moment of convergence? I can’t wait to see how this will play. It would really be a privilege to see the birth of a new economic system adopting the ideals of private enterprise, and personal drive; but in the meantime fostering a stronger government role, through some form of ownership (vs. administrative moderation), to assure long-term economic value maximization and to enforce corporate governance.
After all, the public should not be excluded as a main stakeholder especially in a country’s giant corporations. If boards are formed to represent stakeholders, the government should definitely have a seat!
I believe there is no better place for such an economic system to emerge than the US, and there is no better time than this time of a global financial crisis.
I’ll stay tuned.
“Advocates say the plan is crucial to government efforts to attack a credit crisis that threatens the economy and would free up banks to lend more. Opponents say it rewards bad decisions by Wall Street, puts taxpayers at risk and fails to address the real economic problems facing Americans.”
I’m not interested to take sides here, but the last time anything similar was done, it was called “nationalization.” Oh yea! It might not be as dramatic as government buying stake in the failed institutions, but it’s not loaning them either. Because the government is buying the most “toxic” portion of assets, antennas will be high and controls will definitely be firm.
So are we witnessing that historic moment of convergence? I can’t wait to see how this will play. It would really be a privilege to see the birth of a new economic system adopting the ideals of private enterprise, and personal drive; but in the meantime fostering a stronger government role, through some form of ownership (vs. administrative moderation), to assure long-term economic value maximization and to enforce corporate governance.
After all, the public should not be excluded as a main stakeholder especially in a country’s giant corporations. If boards are formed to represent stakeholders, the government should definitely have a seat!
I believe there is no better place for such an economic system to emerge than the US, and there is no better time than this time of a global financial crisis.
I’ll stay tuned.
That infusion
There is something captivating about that drink.
Although I’m not a fan of herbal drinks, this one in specific gives me great pleasure. It does have this sentimental value and it does take me back to the first time I shared a sip of it, but then I have never shared sips (or bites) with anyone else.
But this drink is still different. Whether I’m sitting in that café within my compound on the outskirts of the city, the one in that new mall in maadi, or even that one in jumeira overlooking the Arabian gulf; it always comes with the same nostalgia. I would never drink it thinking of someone else.
It infuses into my veins and takes me right back to that seat with the panoramic view of the ancient river.
It takes me right back to her.
Although I’m not a fan of herbal drinks, this one in specific gives me great pleasure. It does have this sentimental value and it does take me back to the first time I shared a sip of it, but then I have never shared sips (or bites) with anyone else.
But this drink is still different. Whether I’m sitting in that café within my compound on the outskirts of the city, the one in that new mall in maadi, or even that one in jumeira overlooking the Arabian gulf; it always comes with the same nostalgia. I would never drink it thinking of someone else.
It infuses into my veins and takes me right back to that seat with the panoramic view of the ancient river.
It takes me right back to her.
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